Melinda’s Camino De Santiago 2012 – Day 18
Day 18 Leon – Mazarife – 23.1km – Wednesday 10/10/2012
I slept in til around 8am which was awesome! I started the day with a long soaking bath before heading out to see the cathedral. Aaron didn’t want to pay to go in and I didn’t have much desire to either so we just went visited the public section.
Dave decided to stay a little longer in the city to find a new stopper for his hiking sticks. Meanwhile, Aaron and I made a start on the walk knowing that he would catch up to us. It was a pretty quiet walk, we spent most of the day in our own worlds. It frustrated Aaron when he ran into people along the way whom he’d started the walk with and who were now ahead because they’d skipped parts of the walk by catching a bus. I have to admit that it frustrated me too but the more I saw how Aaron let it affect him, the more I was able to let it go. Each to their own I guess.
I kept stopping along the way to rest as often as possible. My glute kept cramping and I still felt weak. When I stopped with Aaron to have a break at a pub in La Virgen Del Camino, at around the 7km mark, I felt the urge to turn my phone on when I saw there was free Wifi. I had a message from Mum. I phoned her and she broke the news that Pop had died. The news broke my heart. Pop never got to travel and he loved so much that I was over here walking the Camino. He’d said he would be with me every step of the way. I tried not to cry on the phone, I felt so helpless not being there for mum. She’d just had the stress with Dad having a heart attack and now she had the heartache of losing her dad. I didn’t know what to say. I asked her if she wanted me to come home for the funeral and she told me no. She wasn’t able to go to the funeral either as Dad was unable to fly or drive after the operation he’d had on his heart. I just sent my love and was glad that he was now resting in peace after having suffered for months with the cancer.
Dave caught up to us at La Virgen Del Camino and we all left for the next village together. It was another quiet walk. I spent most of the time in my own head feeling very emotional. I was incredibly sad but also felt at peace. I trusted that everything was the way it was meant to be. I believed that the funeral wouldn’t have been a positive experience for my mum and that I wasn’t meant to be there, that she was meant to go through the process without me. It was hard as I wanted to hug her and tell her I loved her. I just had to accept the way it was and trust that it was all for the greater good.
I felt relief when we arrived at Mazarife. It felt like we’d walked 40km when in reality it was only 23km. We stayed at the Albergue De Jesus. I’d actually wanted to stay at the albergue on the right when we walked into the village but I followed the guys who were keen on this one. When we booked in, the manager asked if I wanted to stay in a room with ladies but I chose to stay in a room with four bunks with the guys. They were like family.
It was a very hippy place and it even had a pool. After washing our clothes I went for a swim with Dave. OMG it was freezing!!
I wasn’t feeling like mingling tonight so I just had tuna on rice cakes for dinner and chilled reading my book. There were many people smoking and drinking and it just wasn’t my scene. I’d spoken to Aaron quite a lot over the last few days about not drinking much and instead living a healthy lifestyle. He’d been asking me for advice about it so I felt frustrated to see him smoking and drinking.
As the night went on, I went to the room to continue reading. I was really grateful for the foot massage Dave gave me before he headed back out to mingle. The guys had one of the bunks in the room and I had the other to myself. Although I normally chose to sleep on the top bunk, I took the opportunity to sleep on the bottom for a change. I put my ear plugs in but still tossed and turned a lot while trying to get to sleep. I felt so emotional from everthing that had been happening.
Awareness Gained Along The Way
Being kind to myself helped my body to heal and refuel.
I was starting to have expectations of people.
I need to trust my gut straight away and not follow the crowd.
It’s not worth worrying about how people choose to do things. Each to their own.
I shut myself out from everyone when I need to feel my emotions.
Everything was starting to seem clearer and I was starting to trust that everything was exactly the way it was meant to be.